ACH3 Hymnal

Download a pdf version of the "Abidjan Classic  Hash House Harriers Hymnal" below ...

Traditional Down Down Song

Here's to _____, he's true blue.
He's a hasher through and through,
He's a pisspot so they say.
Tried to get to heaven,
But he went the other way.
Drinking down, down, down, down,
Down, down, etc

He/She ought to be publicly pissed upon
He (she) ought to be publicly pissed upon.
He (she) ought to be publicly shot (Bang Bang!)
He (she) ought to be tied to a urinal
And kept there to fester and rot.
Drinking down, down, down, down,

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, you asshole,
Happy birthday, fuck you.
Drinking down, down, down, down,

Why Was He (She) Born So Beautiful?

Why was he (she) born so beautiful,
Why was he (she) born at all.
He's (she's) no fucking use to anyone,
He's (she's) no fucking use at all.
 
(Alternate verse for harriette)
Why was she born so beautiful?
Why was she born a bitch?
She's no bloody use to anyone,
She's only got one tit.

Hashstones

(to the tune of The Flintstones)

Hashers, meet the Hashers,
They're the biggest drunks in history.
From the hash of (your hash here),
They're the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years.
Watch them, as they down a lot of beers.
(same tune as first four lines)
Down down, down down down down,
Down, down down down down down down, down, down.
Down down, down down down down,
Down, down down down down down down, down, down!

The Hash House Harriers
(to the tune of The Addams Family)

Their drinking is compulsive and,
Their running is convulsive.
They're morally repulsive,
These Hash House Harriers.
Chorus
(Snap fingers twice with words "Down Down")
Da da da da, Down Down.
Da da da da, Down Down.
Da da da daa, Da da da daa,
Da da da da, Down Down.

Ou Est le Papier?  (To: Marseillaise)

A Frenchman went to the lavat'ry,
To have him a jolly good shit,
He took his coat and trousers off,
So that he could revel in it.
But when he reached for the paper,
He found that someone had been there before,
"Ou est le papier?"
Ou est le papier?
Monsieur, monsieur, J'at fait manure.
Ou est le papier?

Rule Britannia

Rule Britannia, marmalade and jam,
Five Chinese crackers up your asshole,
BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!

Rule Britannia, Britannia rules the seas,
Britons never, never, never shit green peas.

 Philosopher's Song  From: Monty Python
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant,
Who was very rarely stable,
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar.
Who could think you under a table,
David Hume could out-consume,
Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine,
Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Neitszche couldn't teach yer,
'Bout the raising of the wrist,
Socrates himself was permanently pissed,
John Stuart Mill of his own free will,
Half a pint of shandy was particularly ill,
Plato they say could stick it away,
Half a crate of whiskey every day,
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart,
I drink therefore I am,
But it's Socrates himself that's particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he's pissed.

My One Skin Hangs Down to My Two Skin

(To: "My Bonnie Lies over the Ocean")

My one skin hangs down to my two skin,
My two skin hangs down to my three,
My three skin hangs down to my foreskin,
My foreskin hangs down to my knee.
Chorus
Roll back, roll back,
Please roll back my foreskin for me, for me.
Roll back, roll back,
Please roll back my foreskin for me.

My body lies over the ocean,
My body lies over the sea.
My father lies over my mother,
And that's how they created me.

Fuck a Duck  (Sung to "Do Re Me")
Fuck a duck, a female duck,
Screw a baby kangaroo.
Finger-bang an orangutang,
Let an elephant do you.

Fell the penis of an eel,
Whack! the asshole of a yak.
Masturbate with a gnu,
And that will bring you back to,
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...
(repeat as needed)

Amazing Hash   (To: Amazing Grace)

Amazing Hash,
How sweet the trail,
That saved a DFL like me.
I once was lost,
But now I'm found,
The On-On I now see!

Just two more blocks,
And I'll be in,
The beer is waiting for me.
And when I'm there,
I'll drink my share,
'Til they get rid of me!

All Things Dull and Ugly

(To: All Things Bright and Beautiful)

All things dull and ugly,
All creatures short and squat,
All things rude and nasty,
The Lord God made the lot.

Each little snake that poisons,
Each little wasp that stings,
He made their brutish venom,
He made their horrid wings.

All things sick and cancerous,
All evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous,
The Lord God made them all.

Each nasty little hornet,
Each beastly little squid,
Who made the spikey urchin,
Who made the sharks, He did.

All things scabbed and ulcerous,
All pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul, and gangrenous,
The Lord God made them all.

Yogi Bear

(To the tune of "Camptown Races")
In the forest lives a bear, Yogi, Yogi,
In the forest lives a bear, Yogi, Yogi Bear.
Yogi, Yogi Bear, Yogi, Yogi Bear.
In the forest lives a bear, Yogi, Yogi Bear.

Yogi has a little friend, Boo Boo, Boo Boo,
Yogi has a little friend, Boo Boo, Boo Boo Bear…etc.
 
Yogi likes candy, Gummy , Gummy,
Yogi likes candy, Gummy, Gummy Bears…etc.
 
Yogi has a girl friend, Susie, Susie
Yogi has a girl friend, Susie, Susie Bear...etc.

Susie likes it on the fridge, Polar, Polar,
Susie likes it on the fridge, Polar, Polar Bear...etc.

Susie likes it up the arse, Dirty, Dirty,
Susie likes it up the arse, Dirty, Dirty Bear...etc.

Yogi's into whips and chains, Kinky, Kinky,
Yogi's into whips and chains, Kinky, Kinky Bear...etc.

Susie has a shaven snatch, Grizzly, Grizzly,
Susie has a shaven snatch, Grizzly, Grizzly Bear...etc.

Yogi has a cheesy dick, Camen, Camen,
Yogi has a cheesy dick, Camen, Camenbeart..etc.

Yogi uses condoms Clever, Clever,
Yogi uses condoms Clever, Clever Bear...etc.

Susie had a little cub, Bastard, Bastard,
Susie had a little cub, Bastard, Bastard Bear...etc.

Yogi likes to role his own, Smokey, Smokey,
Yogi likes to role his own, Smokey, Smokey Bear...etc.

Boo Boo likes it upside down, Koala, Koala,
Boo Boo likes it upside down, Koala, Koala Bear...etc.

Yogi's got a case of crabs, Itchy, Itchy,
Yogi's got a case of crabs, Itchy, Itchy Bear...etc.

Yogi's got a twelve inch cock, Lucky, Lucky,
Yogi's got a twelve inch cock, Lucky, Lucky Bear...etc.

Boo Boo says he's got one too, Liar, Liar,
Boo Boo says he's got one too, Liar, Liar Bear...etc.

Susie likes it twice a day, Horny, Horny,
Susie likes it twice a day, Horny, Horny Bear...etc.

Susie sleeps in any bed, Teddy, Teddy,
Susie sleeps in any bed, Teddy, Teddy Bear...etc.

Yogi doesn't wipe his butt, Brown, Brown,
Yogi doesn't wipe his butt, Brown, Brown Bear...etc.

Boo-Boo likes to stroke his tool, Wanker, Wanker,
Boo-Boo likes to stroke his tool, Wanker, Wanker Bear...etc.

Yogi's got an enemy, Ranger, Ranger
Yogi's got an enemy, Ranger, Ranger Smith...etc.

Ranger puts a hole in it, Naughty, Naughty,
Ranger puts a hole in it, Naughty, Naughty Boy...etc.

Ranger likes the animals, Beastial, Beastial,
Ranger likes the animals, Beast-i-al-i-ty...etc.
(This can be a natural lead-in to Beastiality's Best)

Give Me That Good Old Vino

I like my gin - it helps me get in,
But give me that good old vino.
I like my vino,
It gives me a schwing supremo.

Chorus
Aye-yi-yi-yi,
Si, si signora.
My sister Belinda she pissed out the window
And filled up my brand new sombrero.

I like my beer - it helps cure gonorrhea,
But give me that good old vino.

I like my liquor - it makes me cum quicker,
But give me that good old vino.

I like my brandy - it makes me feel randy,
But give me that good old vino.

I like my stout - it helps me get out,
But give me that good old vino.

I like my rum - it helps me to cum,
But give me that good old vino.

The Engineer Song

An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
An engineer told me before he died,
Ah-hum, ah-hum.
An engineer told me before he died,
I have no reason to believe he lied,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum,
Ah-hum, titty-bum, titty-bum, titty-bum.

He had a wife with a cunt so wide, …
That she could never be satisfied, …

So he built a bloody great wheel, ...
Two balls of brass and a prick of steel, ...

The balls of brass he filled with cream, ...
And the whole fucking issue was driven by steam, ...

He tied her to the leg of the bed, ...
Tied her hands above her head, ...

There she lay demanding a fuck, ...
He shook her hand and wished her luck, ...

'Round and 'round went the bloody great wheel, ...
In and out went the prick of steel, ...

Up and up went the level of steam, ...
Down and down went the level of cream, ...

'Till at last the maiden cried, ...
Enough, enough, I'm satisfied, ...

Now we come to the tragic bit, ...
There was no way of stopping it, ...

She was split from ass to tit, ...
And the whole fucking thing was covered in shit, ...

It jumped off her, it jumped on him, ...
And then it buggered their next of kin, ...

It jumped on an uptown bus, ...
And the mess it made caused quite a fuss, ...

The last time, Sir, that prick was seen, ...
It was over in England fucking the Queen, ...

There is a moral to the story I tell, ...
If you see it coming better run like hell, ...

Nine months later a child was born, ...
With two brass balls and a bloody great horn, ...

Beastiality's Best   (To: Tie Me Kangaroo Down)

Chorus
Beastiality's best, boys, beastiality's best...
(Echo) Fuck a wallaby!
Beastiality's best, boys, beastiality's best!

Shove your log in a dog, boys,
Shove your log in a dog.
(Echo) Fuck a wallaby!
(You've gotta) shove your log in a dog, boys,
Shove your log in a dog...
(Songmaster:) All together now!

2 Up the rear of a deer...etc.
3 Intercourse with a horse...
4 Have a fuck with a duck...
5 Chuck your sperm in a worm...
6 Lick the twat of a cat...
7 Do an illegal with an eagle...
8 Up the hole of a mole...
9 Give some cock to a croc...
10 Shoot your load in a toad...
11 Have a rape with an ape...
12 Get in deep with a sheep...
13 Have a frig with a pig...
14 Up the thigh of a fly...
15 Give your gerbil some verbal...
16 Fool with the tool of a mule...
17 In the esophagus of an octapus...
18 Make it twirl in a squirrel...
19 Down the throat of a goat...
20 Shove your willy up a filly...
21 Stick you rod up a cod...
22 Up the spout of a trout...
23 Do it funky with a monkey...
24 Put your noodle to a poodle...
25 Make love with a dove...
26 Be very pleasant to a pheasant...
27 Sixty-nine with a swine...
28 Cunnilingo with a dingo...
29 Up the tail of a whale...
30 Up the ass of a bass...
31 Wear out a bug on the rug...
32 Mate a 'gator then fellate her...
33 Up the box of a fox...
34 Have a shag with a stag...
35 Nibble the twat of a rat...
36 In the dark with a shark...
37 Ejaculate in a skate...
38 Part the hare of a mare...
39 Have a screw with a shrew...
40 On top of the easel with a weasel...
41 Lick the clit of a nit...
42 Drink the pee of a bee...
43 Give a half to a giraffe...
44 Give a lickin' to a chicken...
45 Go a rounder with a flounder...
46 Make it wonky with a donkey...
47 In the sack with yak....
(And it never ends, make up your own!)

Lulu   (To: Good Night Ladies)

Last modified: June 29, 2005